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When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I decided that my calling in life was to be a writer. Not just any kind of writer. No sissy-kissy romance novelist for me. Forget the science of the Science Fiction and the fantastastical of far-out Fantasy. No, no. I would become a writer of MYSTERY and SUSPENSE. I was big into Encyclopedia Brown, The Hardy Boys, and Goodnight Moon. So I decided to start my OWN character.
Arthur Conan Doyle had Sherlock Holmes, Agatha Christie had Hercule Poirot, and Hanna-Barbera had Norville "Shaggy" Rogers. Me.... well I created JIM!!! The son of a police sergeant who just couldn't HELP but get embroiled in all kinds of wacky mystery mayhem. I remember like it was yesterday, getting up early in the morning in my pajamas with the footies (I wish they made adult size footy one-piece pajamas). I had a little tiny kid's table that I would pull out and then I would start writing... and writing... and writing. You can download the entire first "short story collection" by clicking on the link to the left. It is pretty big, so you may want to check it out by chapter (see below). |
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The Three Clues of Horor
Jim and his friend Sara go after a jewel thief in an old mansion. They come across knives that seemingly come out of nowhere, avalanches (in a mansion?), and skeletons in the closet (don't we all). Uh.. yeah... makes sense to me.
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933 KB (pdf) |
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Flame In The Air
Before you get excited, this is NOT about Richard Simmons and trampolines. Cernal Cole from the Air Force is missing a very expensive military plane. It only makes sense for him to call up a 9 year old detective to find it for him. The way the government is run, it really wouldn't surprise me at all.
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884 KB (pdf) |
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The Dungeon Of Death
Tim's sister has been kidnapped and the ransom: "a thowsin doller" (say with pinky raised to lips and cackle). Seriously, I read this and STILL can't follow it. Following a trail of snapshots through a cemetery, secret passageways, more knives.... Looks like I couldn't spell worth a shit back then OR make a cohesive sentence structure.
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818 KB (pdf) |
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Who Is The Man In The Black Suit
A local bank is "rodded" and it is up to Jim and his buddy Mike (a rather apathetic friend to say the least) to solve this "mestery". And what is their genius plan: hide in the back of a stranger's car because he wears a black suit. Good idea... (can anyone say "I Know My First Name is Steven"). .
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670 KB (pdf) |
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The Mysterious Castle
Jim and his friend Jhon follow a trail of money to a haunted castle. More secret passageways, more knives, more horrific spelling. There is a surprise Scooby Doo ending with a murderous suit of armor (oooooh).
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776 KB (pdf) |
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Who Stold The Gold
The mint was robbed (not the peppermint variety) and OFCOURSE they call Jim, the 9 year old detective, in to solve the case. What was I saying about the government before? Oh yes... anyway. Things happen: more shooting, more gold, more trap doors. Blah Blah. Probably has one of the stupidest endings EVER!!!
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991 KB (pdf) |
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The Bloody Knife
Someone has been murdered at Camp Helen and the police need some help (surprise). This story contains probably the most depressing line a kid could write: "Because the Dark Side feels scared and sad". There is a lot of "Bang"ings in the story. No clue as to WHAT is "Bang"ing however. Never really explained. There is a dead woman on a bed. That may explain SOME of the "Bang"ing (if you know what I mean - heyyyyyy).
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1.23 MB (pdf) |
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The Gun And The Body In The Forest
Probably the most confusing. It should have been called: "Jim And The Case Of Crack I Must Have Been Smoking When I Wrote This". Starts out "One Day. A gun sound. At Jim's. Bring Bring." But... these are two totally seperate events. Now may I add WTF to this (meaning ofcourse Wretched Text Form).
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1.08 MB (pdf) |
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The Blood Trail
In this story, Jim's Dad wins it for being the Stupidest Father In The Universe Award (And Any Dimensions Beyond). He decides to take Jim with him to a possible murder crime scene. There they bond by following a trail of blood that leads to a psycho murderer that almost kills them both. Can anyone say "Child Services is knockin' at the door".
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959 KB (pdf) |
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Who Killed The Capinin
Three things are all you need to know: blood trail in the water, scary Ghost Ship, and a pirate (that isn't quite a pirate). Yes, it's Jim on this high seas adventure of murder, intrigue, and stupidity (c'mon - Capinin - what the hell is THAT).
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1.08 MB (pdf) |
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Whos Captin Killer
I have NO idea why it is called "Captin Killer". There is NO "Captin" in it at all. Just a bunch of guys in Orange Pants and Blue Shirts. Ofcourse, if I had the mental stability it would take to wear Orange Pants with a Blue Shirt at all, I would probably be killing people too (we all know that it is only appropriate for crazy killers to wear this outfit combination after Labor Day, just ask Andrew Cunanan).
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793 KB (pdf) |
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