Yes, indeed it is true.

After many sleepless nights PINE-ing for these "ever elusive" EVERGREEN people, I finally tracked them down. I lived amongst them, taping branches to my head pretending I was a Maple tree (complete with Canadian accent aye). I looked much like a clown in a TREE-RING circus, but fooled them anyhow. I made believe I was their BUD, a true friend indeed.

I would PLANT myself in front of them and AXEd them many questions, trying to figure out their history, what secrets they must hold, all the while writing in my LOG book all facts I could find. WOOD they answer me? (I asked myself). Of course not, I was denied.

They looked at me and said I was BARK-ing up the wrong TREE, they screamed to me to LEAF them alone, that they had their CHLORO-FILL of me and then called me a KNOT-HOLE.

This only added FUEL TO THE FIRE, but I feared if I continued on, they would make me walk the PLANK of sorts. I cursed and kicked one, then ran. Ha, lets see a TREE TOP that.

All this, and nothing for the FRUIT of my labors. I thought to myself that maybe its time to just cut the CORD. I NODE that they were hiding something but I could not GROW in knowledge here and my luck has been ROTTEN TO THE CORE. Sadly, believing that all hope may be lost, I would just MILL about the place in a state of depression. I admit it, I didn't know what to do. I was STUMPED.

They were afraid my little questions would BRANCH into subjects not meant to be learned. But my inquisitiveness STEMMED from the fact that they haunted my thoughts every moment, and I could not live on without knowing. This was the SEED of my mania. This all seemed like it was straight out of a PULP fiction novel.

I spent many days after in solitude. Not eating, not sleeping. I was as thin as a TWIG and my skin was pale and ASHen. Living in a small cave, I did nothing but make a mess then SPRUCE up the place to keep my mind off of it all. I owned nothing except for a little can to relieve myself in. (Yes it was my CAN-O-PEE, get it CANOPY HA!!!). I would WILLOW in despair which almost GROVE me mad, but then I would just SHRUB it off as if it were nothing. Yup, I was going NUTTY.

Late one night I was BOARD, so I decided to begin LUMBERING around their lair. I was tired and SAPPED of strength, so I laid down FOR REST (forest HA get it). But while attempting to clear a section to sleep I stumbled across an old TRUNK (a treasure chest of sorts) with a brownish TIMBRE. It was ancient and worn. I blew upon it and SAW DUST fly all around me.

My PALM caressed the top of it. My VEINS were beating and bulging and my hair stuck out like NEEDLES. Slowly I opened it. And what I saw inside was the proof of the horrible truths to their existence. I had discovered that they were the ROOT of all evil. These hideous beasts and their hellish past.

I then had an unforseen BOUGH movement and had to change my pants.



Uhhhhhhh, this was a small tangent by

Drooling Maniac